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Friday, May 27, 2011
We all have a few "aha" moments in life. You know that moment when the imaginary light bulb goes off over your head and you get it. Especially when you need to get it because there is something important on the line. Those moments are a blessing. If you find yourself lucky enough to not only have an "aha" moment but to recognize that it is purposeful and powerful and requires your attention, congratulations. You are in tune with your "star player" (in the words of Katt Williams).
I am a very spiritual person. I believe that there are signs to guide you through your journey. It's so funny how those signs mirror what your gut is telling you. Why do we not listen to our gut? I can testify to not listening to my gut on quite a few occasions. But when I decided to leave my six-figure government job in March, I finally listened to my gut. It was the result of an "aha" moment. I had read Kelly Cutrone's first book, "If You Have To Cry, Go Outside." But it was when I re-read the book for a second time that I knew that I had to leave.
Her "Worrier to Warrior" chapter did it for me. That negative internal talk will do you in if you let it. I kept worrying about supporting my sons as a single mother without that regular paycheck. What would I do for health insurance? Do I really have what it takes? What my negative talk was omitting was the discussion about the fact that my spirit was dying a little bit each day or that I am truly a creative being that needed to be, well, creative. That chapter reminded me that I came out of my mother's womb a warrior (my mom used to talk about how she could not keep up with me when I was little). That you get exactly what you put in the universe. It is truly up to you. That chapter changed my life. It taught me that I needed a response for my negative talk that was positive and supportive of my star player.
So it brought everything that I was feeling full circle when I finally got the chance to spend a few moments with her last Friday. Her spirit was so strong. It filled the entire room. If you didn't feel it, you didn't have a pulse. She encouraged each person to sit next to her so that she could have a one-on-one conversation. You know she's a mother. Only a mother has that way of pulling you close so that she can impart some much needed wisdom. When it was my turn, I felt like I was sitting with the wise woman in our tribe who could see my light flickering but knew that the flame was endanger of going out.
She said that she knew I was a very spiritual being. I am always very open to that kind of discussion, a spiritual discussion. It was like the PR Guru could see right inside of me. She told the story of the incredible strength of Harriet Tubman who refused anesthesia during her much needed brain surgery. Instead, she bit down on a bullet while her her head was being opened up. Now that's one tough broad. I knew that Cutrone was trying to tell me that I had come from a lineage of strong women of color - channel your inner Harriet Tubman. Her words were very powerful and I felt relieved. Before I left, she hugged me really tight. My "aha" moment had been confirmed.
It is always a memorable experience when someone is exactly as you imagined that they would be. Kelly Cutrone was so genuine and kind. Trust that she is a kick-ass broad. Trust that! No way could she have survived in the fashion industry this long if she wasn't. But she truly cares about people. On the ride home, I thought about my decision to leave Capitol Hill and venture out on my own. I thought about the Harriet Tubman story and about Cutrone's rise and fall and rise. I thought about the fact that my star player was miserable in that job and that I knew my real life was calling me. Cutrone said in her first book, "Ultimately, if you are doing what you're meant to do-if you're in your truth-doors will open for you." I know for certain, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have made the right decision.
Learn more about Fashion PR Guru Kelly Cutrone and get her new book, "Normal Gets You Nowhere."